May 13, 2007
When life crushes me...
One of the things I like about the Women of Faith Bible study I'm working through is that there is plenty of space to write down my answers...so much that I am free to draw a picture to help me see the key point. On the other hand, I am finding as I go back through the first few questions that the verses surrounding the verse mentioned in each question are very helpful in understanding the point. When I first went through chapter 1 of the study I didn't "get it". I thought, "How is this going to help me manage my moods?" But now that I'm digging into these additional verses, it's all coming together to make a lot more sense to me.
Proverbs 15:13 says that heartache can crush my spirit. King David's spirit was crushed on numerous occasions. He described himself as being poor and needy, lonely and afflicted, scorned and accused by his enemies. When his heart was wounded, broken, blighted or withered like grass, life seemed to stand still for him - he even forgot to eat his food, just as I often stop taking care of myself when life gets me down. I have felt all these different things at different times.
There are times when it may seem that I just don't have the things I need; like David, I am poor and needy. It maybe as simple as not having clean underwear because I forgot to do the laundry - it's not true poverty, but it makes me feel like I don't have what I need. Or perhaps it's when the air conditioner breaks, and it will cost thousands of dollars to replace it. Because of good credit, I may not end up feeling truly poor, but spending a few days in an 85 degree house (with 5 kids!) until the new system is installed certainly can bring me down!
At other times, troubles seem to press in around me, afflicting me. It may seem that no one else has ever experienced what I am going through; that is a very lonely road. It seemed like that when I experienced a miscarriage during my first pregnancy. My heart was broken. It felt like no one could understand my pain and turmoil inside. This wasn't true, of course -- I was not the only woman ever to lose a child, and Jesus was certainly right there by my side throughout the difficult time. Friends sought to comfort me, and my husband was as sensitive to my needs as he could be. God eventually brought me not only healing, but 5 more children, all born alive and still living!
Sometimes Satan, the great accuser, pelts me with accusations, reminds me of past sins that I have forgotten, or makes me feel guilty even for doing the right thing. In moments when I have to discipline my children for their misbehavior, Satan steps in and plants a thought in my mind: "I'm such a bad mom!" I may know in my heart of hearts that's not true, but for that moment I stop and focus only on that one thought, that one accusation, those scornful words that are not of God.
What should I do when life has dealt me a hand of affliction, scorn, loneliness, and poverty? The first thing to do is always to pray, just like David did. Hundreds of his prayers are recorded in the Psalms. As I pray, I need to confess my sins, because if I cherish sin in my heart, God will not hear my prayer (Psalm 66:18). I must renew my faith in God, perhaps even asking him to help me believe and trust in Him to work His will in me. I must not forget to praise my Sovereign Lord for who He is - this will help me to recognize that He truly is in control of my situation, and it will silence the Accuser as well.
When Paul was touched deeply with heartache and tears caused by hearing about how members of the church in Corinth were behaving, God led him to write them a letter. I may need to do the same. Perhaps I need to write to someone who has wronged me, someone who loves me, a child who may be feeling the same way I am, or even just write in a journal, like a letter to God. Writing can promote healing, not just in me, but also in others who may read it. For me, writing is a wonderful creative outlet. It helps me sort out my thoughts. Sometimes I feel I can express what I want to say so much better with the written word than with the spoken word. How thankful I am that God gave me the ability to express language in a visual way through writing and drawing pictures.
When life gets me down, I must remember that Jesus has been where I am - He is the great High Priest who has been tempted in every way just like me, yet He did not sin (Hebrews 4:14-15). He is here with me now to help me through whatever circumstance I may face. I am certainly not alone.
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